How much screen time is too much? Is zero the goal?

Let's ask the same question about sugar. How much sugar is okay? None at all is often the goal. But let's be realistic. Most of us give in to the ice cream at the beach or the treat after dinner. Or maybe you don't, and that's absolutely fine. You're stronger than me!

Here's the point. Like everything in life, balance is everything.

Don't ask "how much?" Ask "instead of what?"

When you're deciding how much is too much, I want you to think about one question: what could they be doing instead?

What is screen time causing them to miss out on? Have they not played in days because Netflix is the first and last stop? Then this is where we need to shift.

Children need free play. They need to use their imagination. They need to argue and disagree with their siblings. This is how they build perseverance, negotiation, patience and tolerance.

None of that is learned watching a screen.

Balance isn't 50/50 every day

There are days my kids watch more TV than I'd like to admit. The stifling hot days. The sick days, especially.

But I'm careful to balance it out. If not on the same day, then the next, with outdoor play, scooting, the park, friends.

Balance doesn't mean every day is split 50/50. Some days there's more screen time. Other days there's none. Look at the week, not the hour.

Not all screen time is equal

Screen time is not the devil. Short-form content is.

Sitting down to a 90-minute movie, with a good guy, a bad guy, a moral to the story and some great music, is not the same as scrolling 7-second clips on YouTube.

Short-form content isn't a place to learn. It hijacks your child's attention and focus. It trains their brain to get bored easily and to struggle to see anything through to the end.

That's the real problem.

"I've told him to put it down. He doesn't listen."

I hear this from parents in consultations all the time.

I hate to slap you with the truth here. But a 7-year-old does not have the brain development needed to put down a device that was created specifically to hook him.

This is where your boundaries step in. Remove it. Kill the connection. Whatever it takes. That isn't harsh. You're doing the part his brain can't do yet.

And since you're here, I'll say it: a 7-year-old's hand is no place for a smartphone.

Kids are smarter than we think

My kids were 2 and 3.5 when I started to understand the impact of scrolling on children. I took their tablet out of everyday use, and I explained it simply: devices make your brain smaller. Playing and stories make your brain bigger.

They got it. They still say it today.

Kids are smarter than we often give them credit for.

Your step this week

Remove short-form content. Nothing good comes of it.

It might be a couple of days of hell. It might be totally smooth. Either way, replace it with something better: movie night, popcorn, together.

Know what's coming before it happens

When you take something away, behaviour often gets louder before it settles. If you want to understand the behaviours you might see before they pop up, download my free guide, Why Your Child Does That.