Picture your 8-year-old behind the wheel, cruising down Tower Road in Sliema. A cigarette in one hand. The other waving to his friends on their scooters.

Ridiculous, right?

We would never see this. Because we would never allow it.

Why we have age limits

Driving needs the motor skills, foresight, reflexes and planning that a child simply doesn't have yet. Cigarettes cause addiction and illness. No one wants that for their kids.

So we call them adult activities, and we set an age.

Gambling is the same. The risk is addiction. Slot machines are built around the thrill of a win that might come on the next pull. That surge of pleasure in the anticipation, the dopamine loop, is what leads to addictive use.

And yet

Here we are, innocently handing our kids a smartphone with full internet access. Largely unsupervised. Because let's face it, how can we truly supervise it?

Social media runs on that same loop. The next like. The next message. The next video. Never knowing when the reward will come is exactly what keeps us scrolling.

And children don't yet have the decision-making, resilience or social insight to make safe choices online. Those are the very reasons we don't let them drive.

Governments are starting to catch up. Australia banned social media for under-16s in December 2025. France passed a law this summer banning it for under-15s. Malta's government has announced plans for age limits too.

Most platforms already set their minimum age at 13. But 13 isn't enough. At 13, children are in the middle of puberty, when they're at their most vulnerable about how they look and how others see them. Handing them social media now magnifies the very stressors that make this stage so complicated.

But at home, most of us still find it hard to apply the same thinking. To social media, and in my opinion, to smartphones too.

"But all their friends have one"

When I ask parents why, the answer is always the same: "Because all their friends have one."

I get it. Not having one can feel like social exile. We don’t want that for our kids.

But here's the thing. Having one can be social exile too.

Bullying is magnified. The worry about what others think is constant. And there's no break. The mean comments in the WhatsApp group don't stop when the school bell rings. They don't stop at dinner. They don't stop at bedtime. All day, all night.

Group chats aren't socialising

Parents want nothing more than for their kids to be safe and happy. Kids believe the phone will make them happy, and that social media is how you socialise.

We adults know differently now.

Group chats and social media aren't socialising. They're performing. And children should get to grow up without having to perform.

What the phone gets in the way of

Childhood is when children build the foundations for every relationship they'll ever have. And there are skills they can only learn by living it:

• Empathy
• Negotiation
• Flexible thinking
• Imagination
• Problem solving
• Handling different social situations
•   They need to move, a lot.

And they need real connection. Oxytocin, the hormone behind bonding and trust, comes from face-to-face time and real human touch. A screen can't give them that.

Every hour with a phone in hand is an hour these skills aren't being practiced, experienced. And we definitely don’t want our kids to miss out on experience do we?

Dopamine doesn't build relationships

Let's not raise a generation whose connections run on dopamine. Those connections can't last. We risk raising thrill seekers who never find satisfaction, or real happiness.

Your step this week

Look at where screens sit in your child's day. Replace one window, when your child is typically on a screen and replace it with human connection. Fill it with play, people and plenty of movement.

Let childhood be lived

Our job as parents? Let childhood be lived. It's the shortest chapter of life, with the greatest impact.

If you want to know more about the skills children absolutely must develop, take a look at The Childwise Perspective- we have 25 spots on pre-Sale.